How Two Teen Yogis Stopped The Bratwurst Nazis and Saved North America- Yoga Hosers

I am going to be perfectly honest.  I had no idea of what I was in for. I had heard about this movie that had to do with 2 young teenagers,  yoga, and mini nazis made out of bratwurst, I thought, WOW, that’s going to be ONE CRAZY movie. I mentioned it to my friend Laurie, who is WAY hipper and cooler than me, and she was all like, “Oh, yeah, Yoga Hosers- it’s the new Keven  Smith film” and she looked at me like I was stupid for having no clue what she was talking about.

She was right- I was stupid.  Both because I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, and that I wondered if I even wanted to see a show with yoga  posing  fighting teens who kick brat butt.

Yoga Hosers Trailer

I was offered the chance to see the show and bring along a friend or two, so I invited the way cooler Laurie and her lovely daughter Miette to join my daughter Ally and I for the premiere party on Tuesday.  We were all pretty excited and we arrived early, got our popcorn and settled down for the interview that was to happen in the beginning.  I didn’t notice that it was taking a while for the movie to start, but I DID notice that the theater was filled with men.  No lie, all bearded men and in fact, we were the only females in the theater.  I wondered about why the room was filled with guys when it was a show about, basically, girls, when Laurie, again, told me to just hold on and meet Kevin Smith on the interview.  Then I would understand.


Right about then, a young man walked into the theater, looking very uncomfortable and told us that  there was a problem with the projector and they would not be able to show the movie at this time until 9:00. Then he said, “Sorry ‘boot that”.

It was utter silence in the room until I said, “Wait, are you punking us?”  He was not, in fact.  So we decided we were already on a girls night out, and we ran to Applebees for appetizers  while we waited for 9:00 and the next showing. We got back to the theater and the show started, and I got my first taste of Kevin Smith.

Holy crap.  He is HYSTERICAL. Okay, he has a major potty mouth, but so do I so I was already giggling at him and the way he spoke.  I was immediately smitten and knew that I was RIGHT to not do my normal research but to just experience the show. (there’s no foul language in the movie- but Kevin was quite colorful in the special  preview that was aired before our showing. )

The show is filled with HIGHS- Being invited to a Grade 12 party!

And LOWS:  having to WORK on Party night-

And there is plenty of HORROR:  The horror of losing your phone (therefore, your ability to ‘gram things) for AN ENTIRE DAY at school.  And the Horror of Bratzis.

Yes, Bratzis.  Little evil men made out of bratwurst who are hell bent on working with Canadian Hitler to take over the North.   They attack the Colleens at their store, The Eh 2 Zet, and the girls discover their yoga badassery.  No one believes the Colleens, except for Guy LaPointe, so they are forced to dig deep, trust each other, and save the day.   They aren’t waiting for anyone else to come save them,  they use their super special yoga powers and kick Bratzi butt!

The yoga Mantra: “Destroy everything that threatens anyone or anything that you love.  That’s  the Yoga way!”  and of course,  with the Warrior pose, you can tackle anything!  (It ALMOST makes me want to take Yoga again – ALMOST)

I recognized parts of the movies- The phones always out, the “teen looks” and the slang, but what I really loved to see was the message that hey, even a girl can kick butt.  This time, it was the GUYS who were done in by the bad guys, and the girls saved the day!

Girl power, eh?

There was a special preview interview for our specific screening,  and Kevin said he wanted to make a superhero movie that his daughter Harley Quinn (Colleen C) would have wanted to see. He realized that  the movies he took her to see always had BOYS as the heroes, and it was the GIRLS  needing saving.  He was tired of it, and wanted to make a movie where the girls are much strong than they think- and  can take on much more than they think.  They did!  They worked together and kicked Bratzi ass!

I was impressed with both of the teen actresses.  Both Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith were really natural in their roles.  I recognized so many of their “teen  attitudes'” from my own daughter.  The expressions that Lily-Rose made were completely on point- in fact, I know I’ve seen some of the same on my Ally’s face.  One my favorite scenes in the movie was when Andronicus Arcane  was talking in impressions and the girls were SPOT ON clueless having NO IDEA who Al Pacino was, or that Adam West was the First (real!!) Batman.  My daughter said it best- that she thought the movie was funny, but she’d  hang out with the Colleens.  They were great in their roles. In fact, she thought it would be a great sleep over movie- funny, campy and best of all, girls are the stars!

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Once we went back for the 9:00 pm showing there was a smaller crowd and  as we were leaving the herd of bearded men I noticed sitting above us  2 other women-  one about 20 years younger than me, and another about 30 years OLDER than me.  I asked my new friend Sally what she thought, and she  said:  “I loved it!  It’s about time we show everyone girls can do anything- even kick bratwurst butt!’

She’s right!

oldlady

Fandango has tickets for sale for Yoga Hosers  starting September 2.  Go see it.

I was compensated for attending this showing and telling you the truth about what I thought. This is the truth!

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