You know how you you get busy and don’t do something? Then the longer you wait, the harder it becomes? That’s how it’s been for me to write about anything personal on this blog lately. Sometimes, however, things happens and you get a little kick in your butt to get moving, and that’s exactly what’s happened. I wasn’t writing about bullying and now I am Today, I’m starting over.
Most people know I nearly lost my daughter to suicide due to horrific bullying. One of the things I know from years of research and talking to to my child is that many kids that are bullied don’t report it because they think they won’t be believed. That happened to my Ally. She told a teacher. She asked them for help, and they told her that if they didn’t see it, they couldn’t do anything about it. So they didn’t, and she felt like she had nowhere safe at school.
Last week, my daughter wrote a plea for people to share on Facebook about suicide prevention, asking people to share a phone number She got an unexpected response:
Here it is. These are the kinds of comments that bullied kids have to deal with, every day. EVERY DAY being tormented, and them belittled and disbelieved.
One of the worst things that a bullied kid feels is that he or she isn’t taken seriously. That is what is ASTOUNDS me- that someone would actually tell my daughter that “she wasn’t bullied” in school, and that she should have stayed in public school , apparently because this one woman, who NONE of us know,personally, thinks that Ally should. Of course, this woman wasn’t here on the day I walked on Ally attempting to kill herself, nor she read the 172 or so messages that they bombarded her with telling her to “go kill herself, drink the beach, just slit your wrists already, You’re mother should have aborted you and the world would be a better place” Not in middle school, not in high school. Was every kid mean to Ally? No, but HOW DARE THIS WOMAN say that Ally’s pain, and bullying was not real?
That is exactly why bullies get away with bullying- they try to discredit those that are bullied so that they,and others, are scared to report it. Seeking attention? The only attention Ally seeks is to help other kids who have been bullied or have mental illness, That woman doesn’t see the anxiety that she has before going out public, or the therapy or medication that she takes, bravely, to be strong enough to help others.
When someone says they are bullied, please do not belittle them or tell them what happened to them wasn’t real, If you don’t want to help, just walk away. And CERTAINLY don’t comment with lies 3 years later. Ally is growing up and getting over it, and so should she.
I also find it ironic that she chose to comment negatively on a post Ally made to help share support for suicide awareness.
Afte a little searching, I found a connection to the woman, and it was no surprise that after looking her son was friends with one of Ally’s worst bullies. This kid was so bad we had to get the police involved and was a huge part of why we decided to remove our kids from school. Even though we had complaints filed and followed all the right procedures, this kid, the BULLIES rights were more important to the school than Ally’s rights to be safe.
The best thing we ever did for our kids was to remove them from school. We’re not anti- public school. I think that public school can be wonderful but where there are “anti-bullying policies” in handbooks that are only words, and when the administration protects the bully more than the bullied, sometimes you have to do what’s best for your child, For our children, being home, safe and happy was the best for them.
I thought that maybe I didn’t have to fight so hard about bullying anymore. I thought maybe things were getting better. However when I see grown women taking a young woman to task about things she has NO IDEA about, I raise my fists and come out of my corner. I’m ready to take on bullying again, because it’s needed.
I’m starting over. This time, I won’t stop.
This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. Starting Over by Joanne | Starting Again by Jenny | When It’s Time To Start Again by Traci | Making Mistakes by Karen | Starting Over by Alicia | Crafty Me by Karen | The Delicate Art Of Starting Again by Nikki | Starting Over by Brandy | Starting Over by Wendy | If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers.