Starting Over
Skip to primary navigation
Skip to main content
Skip to primary sidebar
Home
About Me
Contact
Privacy Policy
Disclosure
YouTube
The Wait Is Over
Living life fully
Health
Bullying
Food
Life
Midlife
CoronaVirus Chronicles
Put A Little HAPPY In Your IN-BOX
February 28, 2017
You know how you you get busy and don’t do something? Then the longer you wait, the harder it becomes? That’s how it’s been for me to write about anything personal on this blog lately. Sometimes, however, things happens and you get a little kick in your butt to get moving, and that’s exactly what’s happened. I wasn’t writing about bullying and now I am Today, I’m starting over.
Most people know I nearly lost my daughter to suicide due to horrific bullying. One of the things I know from years of research and talking to to my child is that many kids that are bullied don’t report it because they think they won’t be believed. That happened to my Ally. She told a teacher. She asked them for help, and they told her that if they didn’t see it, they couldn’t do anything about it. So they didn’t, and she felt like she had nowhere safe at school.
Last week, my daughter wrote a plea for people to share on Facebook about suicide prevention, asking people to share a phone number She got an unexpected response:
Here it is. These are the kinds of comments that bullied kids have to deal with, every day. EVERY DAY being tormented, and them belittled and disbelieved.
One of the worst things that a bullied kid feels is that he or she isn’t taken seriously. That is what is ASTOUNDS me- that someone would actually tell my daughter that “she wasn’t bullied” in school, and that she should have stayed in public school , apparently because this one woman, who NONE of us know,personally, thinks that Ally s hould. Of course, this woman wasn’t here on the day I walked on Ally attempting to kill herself , nor she read the 172 or so messages that they bombarded her with telling her to “go kill herself, drink the beach, just slit your wrists already, You’re mother should have aborted you and the world would be a better place” Not in middle school, not in high school. Was every kid mean to Ally? No, but HOW DARE THIS WOMAN say that Ally’s pain, and bullying was not real?
That is exactly why bullies get away with bullying- they try to discredit those that are bullied so that they,and others, are scared to report it. Seeking attention? The only attention Ally seeks is to help other kids who have been bullied or have mental illness, That woman doesn’t see the anxiety that she has before going out public, or the therapy or medication that she takes, bravely, to be strong enough to help others. When someone says they are bullied, please do not belittle them or tell them what happened to them wasn’t real, If you don’t want to help, just walk away. And CERTAINLY don’t comment with lies 3 years later. Ally is growing up and getting over it, and so should she. I also find it ironic that she chose to comment negatively on a post Ally made to help share support for suicide awareness.
Afte a little searching, I found a connection to the woman, and it was no surprise that after looking her son was friends with one of Ally’s worst bullies. This kid was so bad we had to get the police involved and was a huge part of why we decided to remove our kids from school. Even though we had complaints filed and followed all the right procedures, this kid, the BULLIES rights were more important to the school than Ally’s rights to be safe.
The best thing we ever did for our kids was to remove them from school. We’re not anti- public school. I think that public school can be wonderful but where there are “anti-bullying policies” in handbooks that are only words, and when the administration protects the bully more than the bullied, sometimes you have to do what’s best for your child, For our children, being home, safe and happy was the best for them.
I thought that maybe I didn’t have to fight so hard about bullying anymore. I thought maybe things were getting better. However when I see grown women taking a young woman to task about things she has NO IDEA about, I raise my fists and come out of my corner. I’m ready to take on bullying again, because it’s needed.
I’m starting over. This time, I won’t stop.
This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. Starting Over by Joanne | Starting Again by Jenny | When It’s Time To Start Again by Traci | Making Mistakes by Karen | Starting Over by Alicia | Crafty Me by Karen | The Delicate Art Of Starting Again by Nikki | Starting Over by Brandy | Starting Over by Wendy | If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers .
Filed Under: Bullying , cyberbullying , Mental Health Wendy 7 Comments
Nicole says February 28, 2017 at 11:01 pm Literally crying right now. I know what it’s like to have suicidal thoughts. I almost killed myself when I was 19. The fact that your daughter sought help is so strong and so brave. People sometimes choose to suffer silently because of a-holes like that who commented on her status–People who choose to invalidate someone’s very real feelings. I am so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this, because as a parent, you feel what she feels. Just let her know, from someone that was in her shoes… these people DO NOT matter and definitely will not matter when she’s an adult. “Let your haters be your motivators”. Reply
Nicole says
February 28, 2017 at 11:01 pm
Literally crying right now. I know what it’s like to have suicidal thoughts. I almost killed myself when I was 19. The fact that your daughter sought help is so strong and so brave. People sometimes choose to suffer silently because of a-holes like that who commented on her status–People who choose to invalidate someone’s very real feelings.
I am so incredibly sorry that you’re going through this, because as a parent, you feel what she feels. Just let her know, from someone that was in her shoes… these people DO NOT matter and definitely will not matter when she’s an adult. “Let your haters be your motivators”.
Jenny says March 1, 2017 at 10:16 am That’s terrible. I’m glad you were able to step in and do something to help your daughter. Reply
Jenny says
March 1, 2017 at 10:16 am
That’s terrible. I’m glad you were able to step in and do something to help your daughter.
Alicia Taylor says March 1, 2017 at 11:46 am I’m so sorry your daughter had to deal with this. I was bullied in middle school and high school. I pulled one of my own sons out to homeschool him due to bullying. I, myself, seriously contemplated hurting myself. It took me a long time to get over the horrible things they said. I still think about getting a semicolon tattoo. A friend who lost her sister has one that says Warr;or – with the i as a semicolon. So many people are touched by that kind of loss. You are right to protect your daughter. Funny thing about making it to adulthood? I cannot even remember the names and faces of those that bullied me. I do remember their actions, but those people are no longer in my life. I learned to select good, wholesome, loving people for my life. I think starting over is about learning lessons. That’s what I learned. Reply Wendy says March 1, 2017 at 9:13 pm You know, Alcia, my daughter and I got matching semi-colon tatoos for her 17th birthday. It was amazing to do that with her. Reply
Alicia Taylor says
March 1, 2017 at 11:46 am
I’m so sorry your daughter had to deal with this. I was bullied in middle school and high school. I pulled one of my own sons out to homeschool him due to bullying. I, myself, seriously contemplated hurting myself. It took me a long time to get over the horrible things they said. I still think about getting a semicolon tattoo. A friend who lost her sister has one that says Warr;or – with the i as a semicolon. So many people are touched by that kind of loss. You are right to protect your daughter. Funny thing about making it to adulthood? I cannot even remember the names and faces of those that bullied me. I do remember their actions, but those people are no longer in my life. I learned to select good, wholesome, loving people for my life. I think starting over is about learning lessons. That’s what I learned.
Wendy says March 1, 2017 at 9:13 pm You know, Alcia, my daughter and I got matching semi-colon tatoos for her 17th birthday. It was amazing to do that with her. Reply
Wendy says
March 1, 2017 at 9:13 pm
You know, Alcia, my daughter and I got matching semi-colon tatoos for her 17th birthday. It was amazing to do that with her.
Star Traci says March 1, 2017 at 9:25 pm Oh my goodness! I am raging right now. I guess we can understand why her son became the bully he did. His mom is still explaining away rather than holding him accountable. I was bullied many times and often it was downplayed or dismissed altogether. We must demand that our educators do better in supporting the victim. In the mean, you made the choice that was right for your daughter and that is your number one job. I, for one, am thankful for the work you and Ally do. Traci Reply
Star Traci says
March 1, 2017 at 9:25 pm
Oh my goodness! I am raging right now. I guess we can understand why her son became the bully he did. His mom is still explaining away rather than holding him accountable. I was bullied many times and often it was downplayed or dismissed altogether. We must demand that our educators do better in supporting the victim. In the mean, you made the choice that was right for your daughter and that is your number one job. I, for one, am thankful for the work you and Ally do. Traci
Brandy says March 2, 2017 at 9:39 pm How horrible that a grown woman, a mother at that, would feel the need to post that to your daughter! So very horrible. I am so sorry that she is being subjected to this treatment. I think it is awesome that she is being homeschooled, where she can really spread her wings and be who she is without being bullied! I homeschool as well and wouldn’t change it. Reply
Brandy says
March 2, 2017 at 9:39 pm
How horrible that a grown woman, a mother at that, would feel the need to post that to your daughter! So very horrible. I am so sorry that she is being subjected to this treatment. I think it is awesome that she is being homeschooled, where she can really spread her wings and be who she is without being bullied! I homeschool as well and wouldn’t change it.
K. Lee Banks says March 5, 2017 at 2:31 pm I’m so sorry your daughter and you have had to live with this, but thankful she is still with you and you’re both healing. Seriously, how dare that irresponsible mother support the bully instead of your daughter? and claim she “knows” how things were and that you daughter just wanted the “attention”! How immature and inconsiderate! I wonder how she would feel if it was HER child in the situation your daughter was in? I bet she wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the severity of the situation and would certainly want support and compassion! Good for you to begin homeschooling. I homeschooled my four kids for 11 years – began when my oldest (and only son) was in second grade and was also being bullied. I hope your daughter is flourishing under your nurturing in the safety of her home! Reply
K. Lee Banks says
March 5, 2017 at 2:31 pm
I’m so sorry your daughter and you have had to live with this, but thankful she is still with you and you’re both healing.
Seriously, how dare that irresponsible mother support the bully instead of your daughter? and claim she “knows” how things were and that you daughter just wanted the “attention”! How immature and inconsiderate! I wonder how she would feel if it was HER child in the situation your daughter was in? I bet she wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the severity of the situation and would certainly want support and compassion!
Good for you to begin homeschooling. I homeschooled my four kids for 11 years – began when my oldest (and only son) was in second grade and was also being bullied. I hope your daughter is flourishing under your nurturing in the safety of her home!
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
Comment
Name *
Email *
Website
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .
Don't Miss a Tip to Help End Bullying:
Delivered by FeedBurner
© 2019 THE WAIT IS OVER · CUSTOMIZED WITH LAGNIAPPE ❤