School Shootings -Whose Fault Is it?

Every time there is a school shooting, that is the question- Whose fault it is?   The answer is simple. It’s all our fault.

We can talk about going to Congress and changing laws and walking out of schools to have another useless protest but first, we have to discuss the real issue. We stopped parenting.

We need to stop being our kids friends and become their parents again. We stopped holding kids accountable for their actions. When we make killing someone a game,  then it’s no longer thought of as a bad thing. We have glamorized and desensitized death theses days, so that it’s no longer shocking.  We made it acceptable. We have YouTube “influencers” who are “famous” for making videos solely based on insulting others and GAIN views for showing the body of a suicide victim. There are  Tumblr blogs that glamorize depression, cutting and suicide that make them all realistic goals. Bullying is rampant.  There are even “fandoms” that will turn on anyone, even the stars they say they love, when they don’t do something they want them to do.  We place too much value on  the likes of a persons photos instead of paying attention to the person behind the keyboard.

We taught them that being cool is more important than to be kind and  to show kindness is a weakness.

The main times we seem to get up in arms about kids dying is when there is a school shooting.  I absolutely think we should protest the deaths of our children. Every single death.  More kids die every year from suicide than from homicide.  We should be up in arms about that every single time, and yet, we are not.  The thing is we need to STOP politicizing it  and do something the real problem. I’m not going to turn this into a  gun debate.  What I can say is that  I grew up in a house with guns, in an area where everyone had guns, and we didn’t shoot up our schools or each other.  We were taught common decency and respect for human life.

We need to go back to parenting and  stop trying to be friends to our kids. Our kids do not need us to be friends, they need us to be PARENTS and role models to teach them right from wrong. Teach them compassion.Teach them to not be a bully, but to stand up to bullying.  Let them know there are rules and boundaries and they they must follow them.  Give them a curfew, and expect them to follow it.   If they fail a test, let them fail, and let them figure out how to fix it.  Do not harass the teacher to change the grade.   A cell phone is not a right, but a privilege, one they can lose. There should be no expectation of  complete privacy – they live in a room in YOUR house. You should have passwords to all computers and social media, and use it.  Checking in on their social media can make all the difference in their lives, and in the lives of others. I learned this the hard way, a if I had ben monitoring my daughters social media I would have seen the extreme bullying that caused her suicide attempt. They are not owed anything. If they are disappointed by anything, don’t give them “safe spaces”, but tools to deal with disappointment.

We taught them that if someone disagreed with them, that they are hateful  evil and wrong, not just someone with a different opinion. Teach them to respect others right to their own opinions.

 Teach them that as much as you love them, there are be consequences for their actions.  Because you love them, make sure there will be. 


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