I’ve been challenged to write about my favorite 3 body parts. Which 3 body parts I love? We can talk about all kinds of things about ME I like- my tenaciousness, my laugh, my sense of humor, my loyalty, but really? My body? What do I LIKE about it? There are lots of things I DON’T like about my body. I’m trying really hard to change that. But what do I like?
I like the color of my eyes. They are not “just brown” but they have these terrific little specs of green and lighter brown in them that change colors when my mood changes. Not quite hazel, not quite brown, they are like me, not easy to define.
I like the stretch marks on my tummy. Not the ones all over my body, but the ones on my stomach that happened when I grew my children beneath my heart and under my belly and stretched it out even out even further than it normally was. Each scar and mark is testament to all that my body went through while I was pregnant, both times. I feel the same way about my c-section scar- it is a tangible reminder of my struggle to bring my babies into this world.
When I really think about it, the part I think I like the best is my vagina. My girlie bits.My va-jay-jay And not for the reasons you think. I know that it sounds odd, but even odder is that those are the things that betrayed me. That is where my body decided to go haywire and go all crazy and do the cancer dance. While newly pregnant with my son, I had a doctors visit to be sure all was well and I got to see that beautiful heartbeat and she said those words I will never forget: She gently told me: yes, the heart beat is strong, but you also have cancer.
The world stopped spinning for a minute. All I heard, I swear, was my heart beat, and underneath it, my son’s, beating with mine. Then breathing began again in that single, split instant, I knew exactly was was important in my life. Nothing was important as my little family- my 3 year old daughter, my husband, and this little bean growing inside me. All the things I had thought were important, all my priorities changed. I found out that day I had cervical, vaginal and vulvar cancer- and I knew that I would do anything, ANYTHING to beat it and be sure that I had a healthy baby, and would be around to dance at his children’s weddings. I hired and fired two oncologist who wouldn’t listen to me that it was MY body and that I would do what was right for me, not easiest for them and had a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby boy prematurely and then had surgery and treatments and then-
Every single day I lived because I learned the lesson from my vagina and it’s cancerous cells all about what is IMPORTANT and HOW TO LIVE. I’ve had a recurrence and had a much more extensive surgery and I’m already nervous about my check up in February but I can promise you that I live fully, every SINGLE day. Every day. 11 years, 12 day later from the date of diagnosis.I am SO thankful for the lessons I’ve learned from cancer and so, my favorite body part is my vagina.
(if you have some prayers, white light, whatever it is your share, please send some my way for my check-up on February 7th).
What is your favorite body part?