There’s been a lot of waiting going on here lately, and not much weighing. Nor writing. You see, there has been lots going on in my life that required me to be present and there for my family, 100%. If I’m truthful, it’s been happening for more than 2 1/2 years -pretty much since my daughter decided that life wasn’t worth living and tried to kill herself. Thankfully, I found her in time and she decided to live. Not only to live, but to embrace life and help other kids who felt that hopeless.
I stopped concentrating on eating well, exercising, and losing weight and did what I had to do. Of course, I COULD have continued to eat well and exercise, but I hunkered down in my comfort zone and ate myself comforted and neglected myself. I stopped writing. So many times I’d write something in my head and say, well, that doesn’t suit my niche and the post would never get written. In the beginning of this year, I started a new blog, TheAntBullyMom.com to help share what I’ve learned about the journey of living with depressed and bullied kids, and hopefully help other parents. It’s a great site and a really great resource to help with bullying. It also has a pretty specific niche, as well.
But I miss writing for myself. I don’t want to pigeonhole myself into writing just about eating and sweating, or bullying. I want to write about living- fully, and in the moment.
I need a little time. A little time to figure out where to go, and how to get there. If something super happy and healthy happens, I’m going to write about it. But if something just crosses my mind and I need to talk about it, I’m gonna write about that, too.
I love this. Mostly because it helps me NOT feel like a failure. I don’t have to walk a 5k, I can walk around the block. I don’t have to drink green smoothies everyday, I can my best. I’m tired of feeling like a failure for a bunch of reasons- I’ve gained back most of the weight I lost, my house isn’t perfect, my kids are bullied, and I’m lonely. I miss having lots of friends around me. Ive decided that I’m going to do What I Can, When I Can to improve my life. That will include changing things up on this blog. I’m going to be happy and accepting of me. I’m not WAITING or weighing for the perfect moment. I’m being me.