Getting Rid Of Stuff
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March 4, 2015
I’ve been taking part in a really cool de-cluttering project- 40 Bags in 40 days. Ann Marie of White House Black Shutters has been running this challenge for a few years, but this is the first time I’m doing it. The idea is easy- get rid of ONE bag of clutter, every day, for 40 days. Since my house is FILLED with stuff that I haven’t touched for a long time, I decided that this would be the PERFECT time for me to do something about it! I made a few rules:
So far, I’ve been doing GREAT! I’ve cleaned out many cabinets, closets, drawers, and areas of my house. With every single bag and box going out I feel lighter. I’ve learned that just because something was given to me, I don’t need to keep it. I can appreciate the thought, while not keeping the items. I gave it a lot of thought, and realized that one reason I held onto to so many things is because I grew up rather poor, and moved cross country with just a suitcase of my “things”, so when people gave me things, they became important. Learning what really WAS important is making it very easy to decided what to keep, and what to give away.
One thing that I realized most of all is while things aren’t important, people are, and while things used to have power over me, so did people. There were people in my life cluttering it up with their negativity and spitefulness. I spent a lot of time worry about my relationship with them, or lack thereof, and it was costing me peace. Then I realized that releasing people is as important as releasing things .
This past weekend I was invited to a birthday party for my favorite cousin. I wanted to go to celebrate my cousin turning 40, and looked forward having fun with her. But, to tell the truth, I was a little nervous. You see, My Mom had 7 brothers and sister, and before her death, we all used to be very close. Since she’s passed away, 10 years ago, we’ve fractured and many of us no longer get along. In fact, there is strife and drama everywhere. I was able to remove the trouble makers, for the most part, from my life, but being in close quarters with them made me uncomfortable. I felt that they would continue to be judging me about everything, from my dress, to my behavior, to even my dancing. I talked to my husband about it, and he gave me some great advice.
“These people haven’t been part of your life for years, why are you giving them power over you?”
OMG, he was so right. (Yes, I married a smart guy!) Whatever power I had given to them in my life was just more clutter- except it was cluttering up my soul. I made a decision.
I let it go . (Cue the song in your head. I’m sorry.) I let go of the expectations that simply because we share blood, we need to be close. I let go of broken deathbed promises made to my Mom, and broken promises to God. I let go of any kind of guilt I felt for not sucking up the wrongdoings of others because they were family and took pride in the fact that I was doing what was best for me, and my family. Even better, I let go of all the feelings I had for these people- good and bad. I don’t care for them, no, but I don’t hate them. In fact, I wish them well. To be honest, I wish them exactly what they deserve out of life. I know they’ve had health issues, so I wish them good health. There are new babies, and grandbabies on the horizon. I’m happy for them. But I wanted them out of my life, fully. Out of my head and my heart- like all the other clutter that was filling up all the spaces I needed to find peace.
I let go of those people- my “family” who were no longer family. It made all the difference! I was able to walk into that party with a light step, a ready smile, and joyous heart. I laughed, I ate, I drank, I talked to those I wanted to talk to. I celebrated with my family, those who are there for me no matter what, and with no expectations. I realized that family isn’t about sharing blood, but it was about sharing hearts. I had a fabulous time! I celebrated my new-found lightness.
No matter how many bags and boxes of STUFF I get rid of, getting rid of people who can bring me down is the most important.
Filed Under: TheWaitIsOver Wendy 48 Comments
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says March 4, 2015 at 3:53 pm I have SO much stuff I need to get rid of. I actually need a dumpster LOL! Reply Wendy says March 4, 2015 at 4:51 pm I got a dumpster last year-it was AMAZING! I need another one! Or a bigger car to donate stuff! I actually got my new car in the garage this winter- now my husband is jealous, and he wants to finish off the other side so HE can park inside! Reply
Robin (Masshole Mommy) says
March 4, 2015 at 3:53 pm
I have SO much stuff I need to get rid of. I actually need a dumpster LOL!
Wendy says March 4, 2015 at 4:51 pm I got a dumpster last year-it was AMAZING! I need another one! Or a bigger car to donate stuff! I actually got my new car in the garage this winter- now my husband is jealous, and he wants to finish off the other side so HE can park inside! Reply
Wendy says
March 4, 2015 at 4:51 pm
I got a dumpster last year-it was AMAZING! I need another one! Or a bigger car to donate stuff! I actually got my new car in the garage this winter- now my husband is jealous, and he wants to finish off the other side so HE can park inside!
Liz Mays says March 4, 2015 at 3:58 pm I’ve definitely let go of toxic people in my life on several occasions, and I’m the better for it. What I really need to work on is removing the “stuff” now. Reply Wendy says March 4, 2015 at 4:52 pm It’s getting easier, and easier. I’m thinking about stuff that I haven’t used in over 18 years— it needs to go! And people who made my life stressful, too. Reply
Liz Mays says
March 4, 2015 at 3:58 pm
I’ve definitely let go of toxic people in my life on several occasions, and I’m the better for it. What I really need to work on is removing the “stuff” now.
Wendy says March 4, 2015 at 4:52 pm It’s getting easier, and easier. I’m thinking about stuff that I haven’t used in over 18 years— it needs to go! And people who made my life stressful, too. Reply
March 4, 2015 at 4:52 pm
It’s getting easier, and easier. I’m thinking about stuff that I haven’t used in over 18 years— it needs to go! And people who made my life stressful, too.
Jeannette says March 4, 2015 at 4:53 pm I am so bad about holding onto stuff and my hubby complains about the cutter all the time but I’m always worried I will need something later on! Sigh…I guess I’ll start cleaning it out now. Reply
Jeannette says
March 4, 2015 at 4:53 pm
I am so bad about holding onto stuff and my hubby complains about the cutter all the time but I’m always worried I will need something later on! Sigh…I guess I’ll start cleaning it out now.
Lorane says March 4, 2015 at 5:00 pm Getting rid of stuff is sooo hard. Sometimes there might not even be use for said “Stuff” but it always just seem to accumulate. I like the idea of this Project Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:50 am It IS hard. harder than I’d think. But, it was awfully easy to park in the driveway this winter! 🙂 Reply
Lorane says
March 4, 2015 at 5:00 pm
Getting rid of stuff is sooo hard. Sometimes there might not even be use for said “Stuff” but it always just seem to accumulate. I like the idea of this Project
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:50 am It IS hard. harder than I’d think. But, it was awfully easy to park in the driveway this winter! 🙂 Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:50 am
It IS hard. harder than I’d think. But, it was awfully easy to park in the driveway this winter! 🙂
Debbie Denny says March 4, 2015 at 5:32 pm I need to do this challenge. I also believe that sometimes the best family is ones not related by blood. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:50 am I agree, Debbie. Family isn’t blood. It’s those who are there for you and love you, no matter what! Reply
Debbie Denny says
March 4, 2015 at 5:32 pm
I need to do this challenge. I also believe that sometimes the best family is ones not related by blood.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:50 am I agree, Debbie. Family isn’t blood. It’s those who are there for you and love you, no matter what! Reply
I agree, Debbie. Family isn’t blood. It’s those who are there for you and love you, no matter what!
lisa says March 4, 2015 at 6:02 pm Every couple weeks I get a bug up my butt to start clearing out stuff. I get so tired of the clutter everywhere! Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:51 am Me, too, Lisa! And it really sucks when 1 day later the kids mess it up! Reply
lisa says
March 4, 2015 at 6:02 pm
Every couple weeks I get a bug up my butt to start clearing out stuff. I get so tired of the clutter everywhere!
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:51 am Me, too, Lisa! And it really sucks when 1 day later the kids mess it up! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:51 am
Me, too, Lisa! And it really sucks when 1 day later the kids mess it up!
maria @ close to home says March 4, 2015 at 6:16 pm I went thru a major purge one weekend, it felt really good. I am not sure I could do 40 days worth good for you. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:52 am 40 days is a Lenten timeframe, but a bag a day is the goal. I’m already like 19 bags in, so I’ sure I’ll make the number, but it’s more about getting things gone through. I suspect it’ll take years to REALLY pare down! Reply
maria @ close to home says
March 4, 2015 at 6:16 pm
I went thru a major purge one weekend, it felt really good. I am not sure I could do 40 days worth good for you.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:52 am 40 days is a Lenten timeframe, but a bag a day is the goal. I’m already like 19 bags in, so I’ sure I’ll make the number, but it’s more about getting things gone through. I suspect it’ll take years to REALLY pare down! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:52 am
40 days is a Lenten timeframe, but a bag a day is the goal. I’m already like 19 bags in, so I’ sure I’ll make the number, but it’s more about getting things gone through. I suspect it’ll take years to REALLY pare down!
Tracie says March 4, 2015 at 6:25 pm This is so good! I have had to learn this lesson with some of my family members more than once. There is definitely a lightness when I no longer let other people have power over me and my feelings. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:53 am Oh, Tracie, it was such an amazing feeling! I simply thought of them as strangers that I didn’t “click” with, or want to know. Because, simply, that was the truth! Reply
Tracie says
March 4, 2015 at 6:25 pm
This is so good! I have had to learn this lesson with some of my family members more than once. There is definitely a lightness when I no longer let other people have power over me and my feelings.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:53 am Oh, Tracie, it was such an amazing feeling! I simply thought of them as strangers that I didn’t “click” with, or want to know. Because, simply, that was the truth! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:53 am
Oh, Tracie, it was such an amazing feeling! I simply thought of them as strangers that I didn’t “click” with, or want to know. Because, simply, that was the truth!
becca says March 4, 2015 at 7:46 pm We have started weeding through our stuff. We have so much that we are trying to get rid of one box of stuff a week. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:54 am Good for you! I have a donate pile, a sell pile and a trash pile. I’m going to go to a blogging conference with the proceeds Reply
becca says
March 4, 2015 at 7:46 pm
We have started weeding through our stuff. We have so much that we are trying to get rid of one box of stuff a week.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:54 am Good for you! I have a donate pile, a sell pile and a trash pile. I’m going to go to a blogging conference with the proceeds Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:54 am
Good for you! I have a donate pile, a sell pile and a trash pile. I’m going to go to a blogging conference with the proceeds
Jenn says March 4, 2015 at 8:19 pm I used to be so bad at holding on to everything especially when my kids were little. Well now 3 kids later – 8 years ago I have to or I’d need a storage locker just to hold it all. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:55 am yup! I have a box of “good” baby stuff to keep, and I’m working with them to get rid of other stuff. My son is a collector, and it’s been good to show him you don’t HAVE to keep every thing! Reply
Jenn says
March 4, 2015 at 8:19 pm
I used to be so bad at holding on to everything especially when my kids were little. Well now 3 kids later – 8 years ago I have to or I’d need a storage locker just to hold it all.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:55 am yup! I have a box of “good” baby stuff to keep, and I’m working with them to get rid of other stuff. My son is a collector, and it’s been good to show him you don’t HAVE to keep every thing! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:55 am
yup! I have a box of “good” baby stuff to keep, and I’m working with them to get rid of other stuff. My son is a collector, and it’s been good to show him you don’t HAVE to keep every thing!
Chelley @ AisForAdelaide says March 4, 2015 at 8:26 pm I’m a big purger. We don’t have much, but when I let it go, nothing is safe! Reply
Chelley @ AisForAdelaide says
March 4, 2015 at 8:26 pm
I’m a big purger. We don’t have much, but when I let it go, nothing is safe!
Pam says March 4, 2015 at 9:17 pm I need to purge through my house! There’s a lot of stuff I don’t even know I own anymore. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:55 am That’s just it… so much stuff I had NO CLUE was there- so– it’s GOING! Reply
Pam says
March 4, 2015 at 9:17 pm
I need to purge through my house! There’s a lot of stuff I don’t even know I own anymore.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:55 am That’s just it… so much stuff I had NO CLUE was there- so– it’s GOING! Reply
That’s just it… so much stuff I had NO CLUE was there- so– it’s GOING!
Liz Mays says March 4, 2015 at 9:17 pm Personal things seem to clutter the house as much as material clutter. There’s nothing wrong with sorting through them to decide what you should lose. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:56 am I agree. Anything toxic in our lives should be discarded. Reply
Personal things seem to clutter the house as much as material clutter. There’s nothing wrong with sorting through them to decide what you should lose.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:56 am I agree. Anything toxic in our lives should be discarded. Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:56 am
I agree. Anything toxic in our lives should be discarded.
Christina says March 4, 2015 at 9:43 pm It’s hard sometimes but I am a big believer in purging a lot of clutter! Good advice! Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:57 am It is hard! I just got rid of a bunch of vintage pyrex dishes that I liked, to make room for my wedding china! THAT I value much more! Reply
Christina says
March 4, 2015 at 9:43 pm
It’s hard sometimes but I am a big believer in purging a lot of clutter! Good advice!
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:57 am It is hard! I just got rid of a bunch of vintage pyrex dishes that I liked, to make room for my wedding china! THAT I value much more! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:57 am
It is hard! I just got rid of a bunch of vintage pyrex dishes that I liked, to make room for my wedding china! THAT I value much more!
Courtney says March 4, 2015 at 9:44 pm Sometimes you just have to remove toxic people from your life. It feels so much better to remove the mental clutter too! Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:57 am You’re SO right, Courtney! That’s exactly what I needed, and I feel so much better for it! Reply
Courtney says
March 4, 2015 at 9:44 pm
Sometimes you just have to remove toxic people from your life. It feels so much better to remove the mental clutter too!
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:57 am You’re SO right, Courtney! That’s exactly what I needed, and I feel so much better for it! Reply
You’re SO right, Courtney! That’s exactly what I needed, and I feel so much better for it!
OurFamilyWorld says March 4, 2015 at 10:45 pm I have to get rid of my clutter. I do this on a monthly bases. Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:58 am Yes! I’m finding it easy to remind myself to use what I have, and am trying to get better about bringing it in! Reply
OurFamilyWorld says
March 4, 2015 at 10:45 pm
I have to get rid of my clutter. I do this on a monthly bases.
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 9:58 am Yes! I’m finding it easy to remind myself to use what I have, and am trying to get better about bringing it in! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 9:58 am
Yes! I’m finding it easy to remind myself to use what I have, and am trying to get better about bringing it in!
Rosey says March 4, 2015 at 11:51 pm We had someone pass in our family too, that everyone loved, and when she did fractures started popping up. I don’t like it, but like you said, no need to give power where power isn’t due. 🙂 Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 10:00 am It’s sad, because all she wanted was for people to be kind to each other, and people made promises they wouldn’t keep, it made me sad knowing they dishonored her. However, I can lay my head down on my pillow every night with a clear conscience. I keep my word, and I don’t like to buy into drama. Reply
Rosey says
March 4, 2015 at 11:51 pm
We had someone pass in our family too, that everyone loved, and when she did fractures started popping up. I don’t like it, but like you said, no need to give power where power isn’t due. 🙂
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 10:00 am It’s sad, because all she wanted was for people to be kind to each other, and people made promises they wouldn’t keep, it made me sad knowing they dishonored her. However, I can lay my head down on my pillow every night with a clear conscience. I keep my word, and I don’t like to buy into drama. Reply
March 5, 2015 at 10:00 am
It’s sad, because all she wanted was for people to be kind to each other, and people made promises they wouldn’t keep, it made me sad knowing they dishonored her. However, I can lay my head down on my pillow every night with a clear conscience. I keep my word, and I don’t like to buy into drama.
Phyllis says March 5, 2015 at 2:25 am I LOVE this!!! All of it! I love the “getting rid of stuff” and riding the negative people from your life. I have recently taken some huge steps myself. It is all so freeing, isn’t it? I need to get rid of more “stuff” though….I have way too many things that just aren’t important anymore! Thanks for the inspiration! Reply Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 10:01 am YES! It is soo freeing! I still have a lot to do, but I’ve made some great strides! You can, too! Reply
Phyllis says
March 5, 2015 at 2:25 am
I LOVE this!!! All of it! I love the “getting rid of stuff” and riding the negative people from your life. I have recently taken some huge steps myself. It is all so freeing, isn’t it? I need to get rid of more “stuff” though….I have way too many things that just aren’t important anymore! Thanks for the inspiration!
Wendy says March 5, 2015 at 10:01 am YES! It is soo freeing! I still have a lot to do, but I’ve made some great strides! You can, too! Reply
March 5, 2015 at 10:01 am
YES! It is soo freeing! I still have a lot to do, but I’ve made some great strides! You can, too!
Debbie L. says March 5, 2015 at 10:47 am I have started my declutter of my house. Weekly trips to the caring center dropping off items. Reply
Debbie L. says
March 5, 2015 at 10:47 am
I have started my declutter of my house. Weekly trips to the caring center dropping off items.
Onica [mommyfactor] says March 5, 2015 at 10:53 am What am amazing thing your doing. Not only do you clean out your closet but your also helping another family in need. Reply
Onica [mommyfactor] says
March 5, 2015 at 10:53 am
What am amazing thing your doing. Not only do you clean out your closet but your also helping another family in need.
Trisha says March 5, 2015 at 12:31 pm I’ve actually been trying to get rid of stuff. We are in the process of packing for an upcoming move so right now is the perfect time to start tossing stuff that we don’t use or love. I love your little motto pictured at the top! Reply
Trisha says
March 5, 2015 at 12:31 pm
I’ve actually been trying to get rid of stuff. We are in the process of packing for an upcoming move so right now is the perfect time to start tossing stuff that we don’t use or love. I love your little motto pictured at the top!
Laura Funk says March 5, 2015 at 2:49 pm Our family has fractured too since the passing of my mother-in-law and the quote you posted really does sum up the feelings that I carry now. Those that used to share so much with us and are blood relatives are not necessarily our family. Reply
Laura Funk says
March 5, 2015 at 2:49 pm
Our family has fractured too since the passing of my mother-in-law and the quote you posted really does sum up the feelings that I carry now. Those that used to share so much with us and are blood relatives are not necessarily our family.
Amanda Love says March 5, 2015 at 4:11 pm Because I’m in the process of buying a new house we’ve been slowly decluttering the one we’re in right now and it’s been rough let me tell you. Reply
Amanda Love says
March 5, 2015 at 4:11 pm
Because I’m in the process of buying a new house we’ve been slowly decluttering the one we’re in right now and it’s been rough let me tell you.
Amy Desrosiers says March 5, 2015 at 7:39 pm I feel like a get rid of at least five full trash bags of donatable (is that even a word) stuff each month. I cant wait until all this snow is done so I can go through mykids winter stuff and donate even more! Reply
Amy Desrosiers says
March 5, 2015 at 7:39 pm
I feel like a get rid of at least five full trash bags of donatable (is that even a word) stuff each month. I cant wait until all this snow is done so I can go through mykids winter stuff and donate even more!
Debra @A Frugal Friend says March 5, 2015 at 11:06 pm I have a tendency to hang on to sentimental things…….but I think it’s because I lost my mom. But when I get ready of non-personal things, it’s so freeing! Reply
Debra @A Frugal Friend says
March 5, 2015 at 11:06 pm
I have a tendency to hang on to sentimental things…….but I think it’s because I lost my mom. But when I get ready of non-personal things, it’s so freeing!
Pamela:: Still Dating My Spouse says March 6, 2015 at 2:24 am i really need to do something like this. I am such a hoarder!!! Reply
Pamela:: Still Dating My Spouse says
March 6, 2015 at 2:24 am
i really need to do something like this. I am such a hoarder!!!
Annie {Stowed Stuff} says March 6, 2015 at 11:33 am Wow, 40 bags!!! This is amazing. I need to do this. Must feel so freeing! Reply
Annie {Stowed Stuff} says
March 6, 2015 at 11:33 am
Wow, 40 bags!!! This is amazing. I need to do this. Must feel so freeing!
Our Family World says March 6, 2015 at 12:03 pm I have been doing this slowly. I have way to much stuff. Reply
Our Family World says
March 6, 2015 at 12:03 pm
I have been doing this slowly. I have way to much stuff.
katrina g says March 6, 2015 at 6:02 pm that is great advice!! I think we all need to look at who’s important to us more often. Reply
katrina g says
March 6, 2015 at 6:02 pm
that is great advice!! I think we all need to look at who’s important to us more often.
Coralie says March 9, 2015 at 11:32 am We have been doing this over the last year. I will pick a room and go through it and get rid of a TON of stuff. I still feel like we have to much crap – but at least we are getting it down a little. Reply
Coralie says
March 9, 2015 at 11:32 am
We have been doing this over the last year. I will pick a room and go through it and get rid of a TON of stuff. I still feel like we have to much crap – but at least we are getting it down a little.
Stefani Tolson says March 9, 2015 at 4:57 pm This is such a great idea. I have been slowly getting rid of stuff we don’t need since my house is small. I tell the kids to get more new stuff they have to get rid of old stuff. Reply
Stefani Tolson says
March 9, 2015 at 4:57 pm
This is such a great idea. I have been slowly getting rid of stuff we don’t need since my house is small. I tell the kids to get more new stuff they have to get rid of old stuff.
Karen says March 17, 2015 at 12:02 am Bravo! I have been saying this for years. There is no reason to hang out or talk to people just because they happen to be related. Life can get so complicated that you can’t breathe sometimes, so like you said, just let it go. And breathe freely. Reply
Karen says
March 17, 2015 at 12:02 am
Bravo! I have been saying this for years. There is no reason to hang out or talk to people just because they happen to be related. Life can get so complicated that you can’t breathe sometimes, so like you said, just let it go. And breathe freely.
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